Thursday, June 10, 2010

Losing Yourself

Salam Walaykum sisters! Sorry haven't posted in a while, just settling in here on my summer vacay. I have a little food for thought and a question for you all. Do you ever feel as if you've traded your identity for Islam? I myself feel this way occasionally, however Allah chose for me to convert early, alhamdiullilah, before I had really established my "western identity". I found Islam during my more formidable teenage years, where it really saved me from some going down a dark path. But I'm seeing a pattern with some of the sisters who are close to me, that they feel they've crossed the line of sacraficing into total anonymity. Who are you? And does it really come down to an either/or decision? Your identity or your Islam? I'm talking about the halal stuff, accepting Islam means you choose to abandon sin. I mean your hobbies, interests, aspirations, careers? Do you still know who you are as a muslim? Or do you spend your time depressed over what you used to do, who you used to be? Where does the line of sacraficing for Allah end and losing who you are begin? IMHO, a positive attitude can greatly lighten any load, religious or otherwise. It's easy to get wrapped up in the daily load than it is to remember the reason why we're sacraficing. This life is a test, and like any test, we can work hard to pass or put forth no effort and fail. No one said the road to Jenna would be easy, in fact Allah made it hard for a reason, so only the best believers would enter. We need to keep Jennah in our mind as our ultimate goal, even when times are tough, so we won't be discouraged or think that our hard work is for naught. That's number one, number two, remember that the only one who can truly change us is Allah. Pray for patience and pray for ease, and as long as your fullfilling your obigations, He will grant you what's best for you insha'Allah. Number three, why not trying to reinvent ourselves in Islam? Establishing an Islamic identity? Instead of mourning the characters of the past, what about reinventing yourself as a muslim? Conversion is all about rebirth, Allah has erased the bad stuff we've done before Islam, and given us a new start. Without any outside influence, who would you want to be if you could be anyone in the world? What would you spend more time doing and what would you stop altogether? What would you improve, phase out, change, revamp, etc? What would your personality be like? WOuld you be more patient, kinder, less of a perfectionist? There's no reason we can't begin now. If you look at it from a more porisive and inspiring angle, you might find that your true goals lie deeper in Islam than you think. These are just some of my thoughts, I'd love to hear yours, dear readers. Salams to all!